Where are you from?

I’m not sure any question is quite so complicated for me to answer… I’ve gotten used to it, but as a teen and young adult my mind would scramble to figure out how to answer that question. For us TCKs it’s definitely one of those IYKYK (if you know you know) topics.
Do you mean where did I grow up?
Where was I born?
Where are my parents from?
Where have I lived the longest as an adult?
Where did I go to college?
What country is my passport from?
For me, that’s 6 different locations spanning a distance of almost 4,000 miles.

For those who don’t know… In short a “Third-culture kid” is one who is influenced by their parents’ culture (first culture) often also referred to as their passport country and the country/s in which they are raised (often referred to as host country). TCKs encompass children of diplomats, members of the military, international business workers, expatriates, missionaries/NGO workers, etc.  Life often necessitates that TCKs go back and forth between passport and host countries without integrating into either culture. 

TCK’s often feel caught between two (or more) cultures. We often don’t quite fit in with our passport country’s culture but also don’t quite fit in with the host culture either. TCK’s can be cultural chameleons, camouflaging into their environment, but not quite being a part of it. 

Identity is a challenge for most young people to work through, but add some extra cultural identities to that, and it’s just a bit more complicated.

Entering adulthood can be extra complicated for a TCK. It’s one thing to graduate highschool, get a job and/or go to school and continue living in your same culture. There are plenty of challenges to overcome with launching and #adulting for the average person.
But for the TCK… graduating from highschool adds a whole other layer of complications and decision making anxiety. Do you stay in the host culture, where you may not be able to obtain a work visa? Do you move back to your passport country? and if so where?
There are so many steps and aspects to re-entry not to mention the emotional aspects of grieving if the TCK does move and going through culture shock or reverse culture shock. 

This process can be lonely and it can be helpful to talk to someone who understands these dynamics. As a TCK who walked through re-entry a few times, I can help TCKs or adult cross-cultural workers navigate the process of re-entry. We can process the emotions that may come in waves, sometimes surfacing a while after actual re-entry. We can also navigate some of the practical steps to re-entry and the challenges that may surface.

If you would like to chat about how online counseling could help you in either a future, current or past re-entry transition, you can schedule a free 15 minute telehealth consultation by visiting the client portal or by emailing me on the “Contact” page.

-Amy Neal MA, LCMHC